"What are you going to do about this?"

As we were getting ready for bed, our 8th grade son, Ezra, casually mentioned “at lunch, a kid at school tried to beat me up today”.

Ummmmm… Excuse me… “What ????” I responded, with a mouth full of toothpaste.

As we heard the details of the whole story, we asked Ezra “So…What are you going to do about this?”

One thing we’ve learned in parenting is to teach our kids how POWERFUL they are and that means that they can make wise decisions regarding how to respond to life’s events. Of course we are there as a resource, but we want to EMPOWER them to move forward responsibly, not as a victim. After all, they are filled with the Holy Spirit who is the BEST Counselor and Guide. Our role is often to ask questions to help them see the situation from different perspectives and help them determine the best course of action. Then they take ownership of the situation.

I had a million things I wanted to say and do in response to this incident, but I decided to stay actively engaged in the “asking questions” mode and help Ezra identify his emotions rather than get distracted with my own feelings about it. (I’ve learned this the hard way). As we talked about his options in how to respond after this bullying incident, Ezra decided he was going to report it to the office and forgive the other kid. Thankfully Ezra has learned the freedom that comes from forgiving others quickly. And forgiveness doesn’t mean you can’t draw a boundary line.

The next day Ezra said that the kid was bragging at school about how he “beat Ezra up” and called Ezra a “wimp” for not fighting back. Of course there’s a lot of things terribly wrong about this situation and we are actively involved in each step. But how Ezra responded to this kid was so profound to me, I wanted to share it with ya’ll.

Our 13 year old boy responded to false accusations of a bully by saying “ I HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE TO YOU, I KNOW WHO I AM!”

mic drop…

This was a big Ah-ha moment for me because this bully, or anyone for that matter, doesn’t have the authority to determine our identity. Ezra agrees with who God says he is and that changes everything, especially what happens in the lunch room.